just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize