So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
