i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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