I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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