You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
