What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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