I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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