Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
