He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I wish I had a tail.
...why not?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
