please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
