Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
