That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
