I cannot find my penis.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
