Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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