standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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