my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
