Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
