Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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