Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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