THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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