i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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