i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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