Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

you can still come hang out if you want

(248): View more from Michigan

I really don't feel like watching you play video games

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.

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(518): View more from New York

At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with

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(480): View more from Arizona

You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI

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(301): View more from Maryland

not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs

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(770): View more from Georgia

Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.

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(410): View more from Maryland

She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."

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(619): View more from California

Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.

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