whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
