i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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