my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
