...so i touched it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
