Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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