I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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