Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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