theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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