lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
