so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
