yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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