Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
