There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
