so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize