It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
