I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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