If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
