just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
