he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
