Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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