hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
