guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This couple is walking their pig around campus
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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