So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize