Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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