I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
