Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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