The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I intend to get homeless drunk
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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