Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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