so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Dear god my vagina.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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