Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
