The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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