Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
