umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
