Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize