I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
