i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
