This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
