Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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