man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
