They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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