Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
